Scripture study tonight

Dad: "Guess what we're going to read about tonight in the scriptures?"
Paul: "Is it blood?"
Dad: "Um....no....we're going to learn about serving others."
Paul: "And blood??"
Dad: "No."

Later...

Dad: "If you had a lot of food to eat, and I was really really hungry - what would you do?"
Kaylie: "Share my food."
Paul: "Pray for you."

Even Later....

Dad: (reading Mosiah 4:16) "And also, ye yourselves will succor those that stand in need of your succor...."
Paul: (interrupting excitedly) "Suckers? I LOVE suckers! Can I have a sucker Dad?"

My future missionary.

Halloween

Hurrah for Halloween!
Kaylie the clown, Me the conehead, Paul is Thomas the Train, Dad the.....oh wait. Where is your costume Ryan? That's right, you didn't dress up. (Give him grief people!) :)

A little late (it's nearly Thanksgiving) but here is our Halloween post. My parents have never understood why I have always loved this Holiday so much. They always tease me that I went out trick or treating until my junior year in high school, was married and had Kaylie three years later and had an excuse to go back out again. I will neither confirm nor deny this statement. (But it's true.)

Nobody can convince me that Halloween isn't a sweet deal. What other time of year can you dress up in ridiculous outfits, act a little crazy, and go around knocking on strangers' doors collecting candy? It's even better now than I remember it being when I grew up because Kaylie and Paul have so much fun. Watching their excitement is great.

Here's Paul trying on Grandpa's gorilla outfit.

My dad used to really get into Halloween too, and scare the trick-or-treaters that came up to our door. One year when he was the bishop of our ward, he dressed up like a scarecrow, stuffed himself with newspaper, put on a convincing mask, and sat limply on a chair right next to our doorstep. Kids would hesitantly creep up to our door and poke him to make sure he was just a decoration. Once they felt the newspaper crinkle they would relax and go for the doorbell. Then dad would jump out at them. Ohhh the screaming. :)

One darling little kid from our ward was pretty frightened by him and ran screaming back to her parents saying "I HATE Halloween!" Dad felt bad and tried to assure her it was just the bishop, but to no avail. The parents called out to him sarcastically "Thaanks Bishoop....."

The gorilla suit is one of my dad's famous costumes. One of the missionaries that hung out with us that night is wearing it here, for some reason. Bigfoot reading scriptures? Genius!

Keeping with tradition, we all went over to my parent's house that evening and had a great dinner. The missionaries in their ward didn't have anywhere to go (people might not appreciate proselyting on Halloween) so they came over to my mom's to spend the night with us. Even my brother Nate who is in the army reserves stopped by. To sew a carrot costume for himself? It's true, and we all laughed and laughed, but were actually impressed he knew how to sew when even my mom can't get her machine to cooperate. I should have snapped a picture! My stud brother the carrot.

The kid's costumes turned out so cute. Paul really wanted to be a cow, but I couldn't find one in any of the stores, so when we found this he was happy. Paul made it about an hour before he pooped out and wanted to go inside to eat his candy, but Kaylie was a maniac! After daddy took Paul back inside, Kaylie ran from door to door around the neighborhood for another hour and brought back a ton of loot. She was so proud of herself!

My costume was SO good that he must not have recognized me. That's the only explanation for this picture.

And now, we get to eat the spoils. (If there was any left.)

Kaylie's "short cut"

They say that every mother goes through this at least once with one of their kids. Buuut how about three years in a row? And on Picture Day? Here's how it went down.

That morning Kaylie's hair looked like this.

I'm sure it's fashionable in some far dark region of the world, but for preschool class pictures I was going more for....NOT rat's nest. I know! Kaylie thought I was being unreasonable too, as you can tell by the look on her face above when I told her she was going to be primped and preened.

So, when I slipped out of the room for a moment Kaylie took the situation into her own hands with a pair of scissors, and obviously no inhibitions with them. Documented below are the results.

How do you like Kaylie's new "short cut?" (That's her term for hair cut. Our front lawn gets regular "short cuts" too.) I wasn't wildly fond of it either. In fact I was so unfond when I walked into the crime scene that I had to give myself a time out, eat some blue M&Ms, and call Ryan for support before ANY humor about the situation was apparent.

Of course, NOW I think the picture below is hilarious, while Ryan's first reaction when seeing this one was: "She looks like a addict." Which of course made me laugh even harder, and now it's a keeper. Preferably for her future wedding video.

Luckily, mom was able to save the day with some tricksy curling and styling to hide the random rooster tails, and she was sent off on the bus like so.

Doesn't she look so remorseful and repentant?

I have to say I was pretty proud of my quick fix-it, however she had cut off some pretty sizable chunks of hair on one side, and it just wasn't salvageable long term. So after school, off to the salon we go, hi-ho, hi-ho.

I was a little sad about having to chop so much off because it had been getting long enough to pull back into a pony-tail, and there is just something about long blond wavy hair, but this turned out SO cute. So I am pacified.

She is WAY too cute to be upset at for long! Lucky , cause WOO, the mischief she finds.

Oh. And now all the scissors in house are hidden.

My leave of absence

I know I have been out of commission on the blogging world for awhile. It has been the same way in real life for a few months too. Some of you may already know that I have suffered with clinical depression ever since I was young, and it has been a struggle I have learned to accept and deal with more effectively through the years as I learn more about myself and about the illness. Some of you probably had no idea. I kinda just want to be out with it, and explain. Sometimes it just gets too hard to constantly put on the happy face for extended periods of time.

Like anyone with mental health problems, there have been some difficult lows, but in general I have been able to keep a pretty good handle on my emotional and mental stability. My "crashes" (my nickname for depressive episodes) usually only last a few days or at most a week. This time for some reason, I have not been able to pull myself out of that dark and discouraging place.

Part of my reluctance to admit to having depression comes from the stigma that it still carries with it. I have encountered many through the years who misunderstand the nature of this illness, and who view those who suffer from it with skepticism. This saddens me, because many of those who are inflicted with mood disorders do not seek treatment because of the fear of being branded mentally ill, fake, or crazy. There is so much help out there now in the form of therapy, support groups, literature, online communities, diet and exercise programs, and medication depending on your needs and circumstances. Understanding and compassionate friends and family can be the most important source of support and comfort during the difficult trials that inevitably will come.

These past few months have been incredibly frustrating, and even though I have been told again and again there is no reason to be ashamed, I still feel so guilty for not being able to snap myself out of it through sheer will. Comparing myself with other amazing women has been one of my biggest mistakes because it brings so much discouragment about my own abilities as a mother, wife, friend, daughter etc.... but sigh....it's so hard not to. I mean let's face it, not being able to take a shower or even get out of bed some days is just embarrassing, and would make anybody feel weak. I am just grateful that I have many willing friends and family who have been more than happy to babysit and help me out so much with little things without requiring a full explanation, and they do it with a smile. Even the tiniest expressions of encouragement have a monumental affect on the way I feel. I know they will be blessed so much for their service and wonderful attitudes. I can't express my love and gratitude enough.

Now, the reason I am back to blogging today is because I feel like I may be slowly coming back up from the dark fog that has defined my daily existence most days for - ugh it feels like forever. I have started some new medication (for me, this has always been essential for me to function)which takes patience and time before it really starts to kick in. I have also started seeing a counselor, which I cannot recommend enough if you find the right person. I will never underestimate the power of "talk therapy" again. The most essential thing that contributes to my happiness and spiritual well-being is maintaining a relationship with the Lord. Endless prayers to my Father in Heaven have kept me going on the worst of days, and keep a glimmer of hope in sight so that I can be confident that things will improve and get better. I know I am loved, and that the Lord is the only one who knows everything that I feel.

The Spirit's presence is something I do not always feel when I am consumed with darkness, but I have confidence that it is always there. And when I do feel the sweet and tender reassurances of the Spirit, I appreciate it tenfold, and it strengthens my testimony of the gospel even more. The Lord's great love for me and my family is manifested in many ways, and often through the service of other people - which I am eternally grateful for. I only hope that on my own road to recovery I will have more compassion and mercy on those who are struggling with their own challenges - and that I can discern others needs and serve them as I have been served during my own time of need. I am continually amazed and humbled by the strength and courage of others as they battle far greater trials than the ones I am asked to endure.

So, thank-you to everyone for your love, service, support, and examples. I am doing better, and someday soon will get back into the cooking, cleaning, teaching, socializing, hosting, reading, serving, potty-training, chauffeuring, blogging super groove!! ;)

California Summer Vacation!

Here is the pathetically over-due recap of our vacation to California! Ryan grew up in the Sacramento area, and almost the whole Brady Bunch of Barbers and Russells (and other extended family) are within a 30 mile radius of each other. Yay for proximity! It actually ideal to get to see everyone during our visits, and everyone is so kind, fun, and generous. We LOVE visiting family.

We knew about a year ahead of time that it was Great Grandma Betty and Grandpa Norm's diamond wedding anniversary this summer, because the family was planning a huge surprise party for them. So we drove down a week before the actual day of the party and turned it into a wonderful vacation to play with everyone that we miss so much. The whole week was fantastic, and we loved staying with the Russells, and then with Nicole and Grandpa Jan. The kids couldn't have asked for a more exciting and fun-filled vacation - the proof being; when we got home they were going through withdrawals! Man, did they take advantage of being the center of attention all the time.

Plus, the party for Betty and Norm was a BLAST. All the 60+ family and friends that drove and flew in from around the country were eager to make the day really special. I have to give some major props to Diane, David, Tammy, and Grandpa Jan and the others who planned and worked so hard for making it such a fun and successful day. I was happy that I was able to contribute a little in my own way by drawing a pencil portrait of the two of them that turned out really nice. Jan paid to have it matted and framed, and then it was on display when they walked into the church we were all hiding in to surprise them. There was a hilarious photographer, a touching slide-show, a catered lunch, cake, toasts...and all manner of cheerful socializing. Happy anniversary Norm and Betty! We miss everyone already.

Now if only we could get people to invest in Idaho winters......oh COME ON! You know potato land is appealing! Ok, not everyone who lives in Boise is a potato farmer. Whenever I venture outside state lines, it seems like I am asked at least once by strangers who hear of my origins if I have acres of potatoes and rows of corn to tend. In fact I don't personally know any farmers at all - unless you count several resourceful ladies in our Relief Society who have thriving gardens in their back yards. My backyard....well....I heard that dandelions have quite a bit of nutritious value. If you get hungry enough.

*Note to self: Economy is bad.....make thumb turn green before next summer*

I was originally going to give a smashing breakdown of each day...hour...minute of our vacation (much like my intentions for my Utah trip)but seeing as it has been an eternity since then, um YEAH...my memory pooped out. Sooo if you can be content with tiny little captions over each picture - then please to enjoy this rockin slide-show of photographic excellence! Seacrest out.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Paul is 3 years old!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Well this smilebox thingy is the new cool blogger thing. I'm just following the crowd. So Paul's 3rd Birthday was yesterday. WHAT?? I can't believe my itty bitty schmootzy poo is so big! (We have to throw nicknames like that out there to embarrass him later. Or maybe he will never care and his future wife will pick it up and run with it.)

He was so excited for his party. I made the mistake of telling him about his birthday way too soon, so for about 3 weeks before the actual date he told everybody who would listen: "I'm going to be a big boy! I'm gonna have a BIRTHDAY party!" It was awesome. Here is a random list of 40 things that make Paul such a special boy.

1 He is very sensitive. If someone looks at him wrong he will burst into tears.
2 He loves to draw and build things with his hands.
3 He will keep himself entertained for HOURS figuring out how things work.
4 Paul is very intelligent, and loves learning new things.
5 He is especially good at his numbers, letters, shapes, and colors.
6 He has an infectious laugh.
7 He really enjoys attention, but doesn't need it all the time.
8 His favorite color is DARK blue. Not light blue, forget about it!
9 He gets along with other kids very well, and has an uncanny knack for sharing....unless it is with his sister.
10 He loves to eat, and does it sloooooowly. To enjoy every last morsel.
11 He does NOT like to exert himself. If he has to walk under his own power for more than a block he will start to whine, and soon after throw himself prostrate on the ground and refuse to go any further. We are working on this.
12 He was nearly 7 weeks premature, but only had to stay in the NICU for 10 days. With no complications.
13 He had torticollis (one neck muscle shorter than the other)and could only turn his head one direction for awhile.
14 Because of this he developed a MAJOR flat spot. Like - he looked like an alien.
15 Due to his misshapen skull, he had to wear a helmet 23 hours a day, 7 days a week for 6 months. We are happy to report that his head now looks normal.
14 When he is tired he will position himself flat on the step between our kitchen and family room so that someone will see him and put him to bed
15 He is really cautious. He has to "test the waters" with anything new, or potentially scary
16 He has blocked tear ducts
17 He can't climb out of his crib yet. No, that's a GOOD thing.
18 He is not yet potty trained. That's a BAD thing.
19 He is a little physically delayed, but is getting stronger all the time.
20 He loves to read books, and be read to
21 He still likes to give hugs and kisses
22 He is a mommas boy
23 He likes his naps ALMOST as much as his mom
24 He needs validation. All the time. ALSO like his mom.
25 If he doesn't believe you are REALLY paying attention to him, he will repeat his question 10 million times until you are.
26 He doesn't like cake
27 But he will inhale bananas. By the bunch if we let him.
28 Shoes make him uncomfortable.
29 He gets frustrated with his tricycle, but keeps at it anyway
30 Singing is one of his favorite activities. He is humming and singing to himself constantly.
31 He looks like a miniature of Ryan, with my cheeks.
32 He has very pale skin, and burns in T minus 2 seconds in the sun.
33 There is nothing he s more, than getting a haircut. If you ever want to hear screams of anguish, bust out the buzzer. It's not a pleasant experience for anyone within hearing distance.
34 His sister can make him laugh harder than anyone else
35 He is really sweet, and likes to give random things to people
36 He is shy at first, but warms up quickly
37 He loves Elmo
38 He doesn't like cold water
39 Every time dad tries to hold his hand in public he squirms away and runs to mom
40 He is VERY ticklish

Paul we love ya buddy.

Darn that Digi Cam!

These next few posts will be made up entirely of text. No pictures. *makes a disgruntled face.* We spent the last week on a mini vacation to Utah and I was so anxious to get out of the house finally (you know how it is when you are frantically cleaning and packing before a trip) that I forgot my rusty old digital camera. Grrr.... I left the diaper bag as well, but wasn't nearly so disappointed over that once since it is almost a daily occurrence. Plastic grocery bags work just as well.

On that note, does anyone have any suggestions for us digital camera-wise? I have had a love-hate relationship with our digi cam for awhile now. It works just fine, except for the fact that brand new batteries go completely dead after about 20 minutes of taking pictures, or even just leaving it on. Our current system is as follows: we take a few pictures oober quick, then immediately afterward we are forced to pop out the batteries until the next photo session so they will last until the end of the day. I don't know about anyone else, but I just don't think this is normal. It's really aggravating to say the least! Beyond that it meets our needs, but the battery problem is way too annoying so we are now on the search for a new one. It has served it's purpose well, but now it is time to put it to rest, humanely of course.